My blog's been more than a little quiet lately, and I think that comes down to a lot of things that have been happening in the past month. As we come to the end of January, I've found myself reflecting on how I've changed and grown as a person, even in the past few months, and also how some integral parts of me have remained the same. And, they probably always will be.
January seems to pass very slowly and then all at once, leaving you in a puddle of half taken down Christmas decorations, an already dented sense of renewal from the New Year, and exhaustion from being thrust back into routine after the festivities. In previous Januaries, I was studying for my Uni exams, and so thought this post-festive period would be more stress free and I would have more free time. And it was, relatively. But I have felt rather unproductive and feel I have hardly worked on my "2018 self".
The major thing that happened this month is that my mother had to be admitted into hospital. Like in most families, my mother is the head of the household and keeps everything ship shape. When she went into hospital last week, my father and I had to step up our game and juggle visiting hospital with work, cooking, cleaning, and shopping. We managed, and Mum's home now, but is pretty much unable to take up her role again for a while. So we must continue this balancing act for a while yet. And this has taught me that, I like the idea of "adulting", but I clearly need more practise if I want to keep it together. And I wasn't even responsible for the bills. Time management has never been my strongest suit, and something's always going to give. In this case, it was my sleep and ergo also, my performance at work. Here's to this week being a bit more "with it". I'm hoping to also pick up my usual self-care routine, as that also fell to the side. More often than not, I've felt like a hot mess this month and I really believe self-care helps this.
And in my typical fashion, I've ignored a rather important decision for as long as I could, and this week I now find myself in a slight existential crisis. Of course, I'm talking about my Master's degree. One of the major aims of the gap year was to properly research and choose the best Master's, but that has more than a little been forgotten. So this week, my Google search history has seen panic-stricken searches such as "What can I do with an English degree?", "English Master's programs", "English Master's degrees in the UK". I took a couple of personality tests that told me I am of the helper personality type (true), and so therefore I should be following a profession in the medical field. Questions abound.
January has been a bit rough, and also a bit of a necessary reality check. In my mind, I see February going much smoother, but time will tell.
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