January wrap up

Admittedly I'm not great at keeping up the "monthly wrap up" gig, but as I'm spending a lot of my time at home now, I figured something like this would hold me accountable on 2 fronts: creating content & having done something worth talking about at the end of the month.

As a typical literature Master's student would, I spent a lot of January inside with my books. I had a deadline at the beginning of the month that I knew I needed to push towards, and after a highly caffeine fuelled couple of days after the New Year, I made it. There were moments of sheer will power where I forced myself to sit at my desk for 12 hours without a break, and others where I jammed it out to 80s classics and Danzel's Pump it Up. Wild couple of days that left me a complete husk of a human being for days after. As is to be expected, when I met my Professor for feedback he said the chapter is good but needs refining and redrafting. It's ok. This is the first draft of the first chapter.

But, since I was coming out of a tiring period at work before Christmas, followed closely by the Christmas period and all that comes with it, I used the new determination and love for life that submitting a chapter gives you. I had some free time before my next meeting, and I needed to centre myself. So I jumped back into training at the gym, doing

absurd things like being at the gym before 7am, and started pushing myself again. I had healed and rested enough to be able to get back to where I was, and stronger, before my back injury and this gave me an immense boost of self-confidence and pride. I've seen real progress lately, and the effects that that can have on your mental health are invaluable.

I also realised that it's a really good idea for me to change my work space every so often, and not working full time gives me the freedom to walk to university (while listening to a podcast) and work at the library, or even to work in a cafe. I downloaded a step counter which showed me how easy it is to get around by walking (45 minutes is not far at all!) and since the weather has been so lovely, it pushes you to walk more.

One of the biggest highlights of January was attending Emma Hogg's New Year Evolution workshop, which was a Christmas present from my boyfriend. That deserves

a blog post of its own, and there are elements of it that I realised yesterday I am still processing. It was a really great experience, and was incredibly motivating and inspiring.

I also had the time to really evaluate my space and I saw that there was a lot of clutter, physical and mental, that I did not want to take with me into 2020. And so I started working on small areas of my room and working to fix the space, clean it, rearrange it. It's something that to be honest I have been doing for a long time, but this year I really want to get closer to a more minimalist idea. I want to have less, and for what I do choose to have, I want it to be things I really want or need. This is the trend right now, right? Well, bandwagon or not, it is incredibly beneficial. Completely rejigging my wardrobe was probably the most satisfying part, especially when Anna Newton acknowledged my efforts!

But one of the biggest changes that happened in January was to do with my job. At some point, I realised that if I went back to work on the

20th as planned, I would go back into the cycle that I had felt so stuck in before. A position where I would be trapped between two highly demanding areas, and not enough time (or energy; physical and mental) to dedicate to either of them. So, if I want to continue to enjoy my time and my research the way I have been, I would need to extend my leave from work. Indefinitely. And that's where I am now. I am incredibly lucky to have worked somewhere that understands that I need to devote my time to something else right now, and that will welcome me back with open arms when I'm ready to. So, for now, I'm just a full time student. Won't be a student forever, so this is potentially my last chance to fully indulge myself. And I feel good.