Well, for once I've actually got a monthly wrap up out before the month ends. June is always a really nostalgic month for me. I'm usually studying, so it reminds me of years spent at school, sixth form, and university, watching the sun fall across my books, and feeling too hot to do anything. I associate it with exams, and with the hope for some kind of renewal. A change of season means you can change your entire routine and start new habits. I associate it with a lot of my ex boyfriends, for different reasons. It blows my mind that at this point we are halfway through the year, because I always feel like I'm just getting started. When does that stop? When do we start to feel like we have actually grabbed the year by the metaphorical horns, and are actually being present?
Tonight, I'm missing a school reunion. I am kind of gutted, but when none of my close school friends were going, and I still had seas of reading to get through to make my deadlines, it was kind of a no brainer.
I've been using this month, quite honestly, to recover. May was one of the worst months of my life (so far), and it took a lot out of me. I've also been working on myself, to avoid anything like May ever happening again. It's been a lot of heavy reflection and a lot of actively making certain choices to take tiny baby steps. I haven't read a book for leisure (or finished anything) probably since March, so I'm looking forward to devouring as much as I can during the summer months (in between researching for my Master's thesis and working). I'll have to get these deadlines out of the way first.
Consider this my intentions for the summer, and in September I'll report back on if I actually managed any of this. I want to read MORE. So much more this summer. I've bought so many books, and I've hardly touched any of them. I want to blog MORE. I have ample ideas, but never get round to it. I want to swim MORE (like, at the beach, not in the pool at the gym). With any luck, I'll get a tan. I want to reach out to people MORE, and also get to know more people. I have isolated myself a lot lately, for my own protection and out of sheer busyness. I want to give my relationship MORE attention. I want to be MORE in touch with myself.
Do you see a pattern forming?
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